The resemblance is UNCANNY!

WTF?

Everyone that has ever thought of suing their local weatherman for fucking up their commute with rain, TAKE NOTICE! The founder of the Weather Channel wants to sue Al "I'm super cereal" Gore over global warming. Um, now I could be wrong here, but much like the Internet, I really don't think he has much to do with anything regarding global warming. The guy is an inconvenient douche that gets bent when no one pays attention to him.

WTF!

I am no scientist, I leave that to the smart people but here is my understanding of the whole thing. Global warming IS real and can be measured. Is it cyclical? Yes, go back through history, temperature swings happened over and over. Just ask the people that live down at the south pole that measure the big sticks of ice, they will tell you it is true. Do people make global warming worse, FUCK YES! DOOOO we need the big fuck off monster mom-mobiles? NO! For what it is worth, flatulent cows add to the global warming problem as well. Stupid yummy farting cows!

Add it all up, it is a fucking problem.

But you go ahead and sue Al, see how that works out for ya...

i am this many...

*flashes all fingers 3 times*

3x10^1

1000 minus 970

three zero

or best of all...

Today could be my birthday, but it is SO VERY NOT!

A very merry unbirthday to everyone!

Shoot The Moon

Hot on the heels of the "our anti-missile missiles are bigger than your anti-missile missiles," raining satellite event of last week comes news of plans to shoot the moon, literally! I mean we shot a tiny comet really fucking far away a few years ago in project "Deep Impact" which to my dismay was NOT porn related, and now we have shot a tiny target really close to us. It only seems logical that we need to shoot a big fucking thing only kinda far away, right? I mean we ARE UH-MERICA, shooting things is what we do! Yeah, yeah, yeah "they" wanna find water in the form of ice on the moon so we can put a Starbucks there too, but I am willing to bet it got funded solely because we are gonna shoot the bugger!

Yo Vanilla, Kick It One Time Boyyyyyy!

It is moving weekend in my house, so...

I'm gonna crack a beer or 6, set the ipod to my totally awesome 90's mix, sag my sweat pants to look like Hammer pants and...

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh
STOP Hammer time!

p.s. if you hike up the bottoms of the sweats while they are sagged to expose knee high checker board Vans socks you MIGHT look like a gay Ompah Loompah... i'm just saying... not that I would know this for fact...

Albus Outed!

A recent over exposure to daytime television has apparently brought out my inner tabloid nature against my will, and in my aimless web browsing I stumbled upon this little gem.

Albus Dumbledore, our favorite Hogwarts Headmaster, is GAY!

Awwwwww... big gay hugs!

An Associated Press article details how J.K. Rowling outed her character in response to audience questions Friday evening at an appearance at New York's Carnegie Hall. What this fact has to do with the story, I do not know but I love ya, you big gay wizard you.